JUST THREE STORIES

My THIRD STORY is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change

something.Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked.

There is no reason not to follow your heart.About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die.

It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery.

I had the surgery and I'm fine now.This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there.

And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.

AND MOST IMPORTANT, HAVE THE COURAGE TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND INTUITION.

They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras.

It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue.

It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself.

And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

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STAY HUNGRY. STAY FOOLISH.

-Steve Jobs Stanford 2005 Graduation Speech

JUST THREE STORIES

My SECOND STORY is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees.

We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier,

and I had just turned 30.

And then I got fired.

How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out.

When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me.

I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love.

And so I decided to start over.I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance.

And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith.

I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.

If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.

So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

JUST THREE STORIES.

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. JUST THREE STORIES.

The FIRST STORY is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption.

She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?"

They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.And 17 years later I did go to college.

But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK.

It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it.

And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this.

I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life.

But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them.

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.

So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

Rumi unleashed

"When I am with you, we stay up all night.
When you're not here, I can't go to sleep.
Praise God for those two insomnias!
And the difference between them."

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"It may be that the satisfaction I need
depends on my going away,
so that when I've gone and come back,
I'll find it at home."

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"Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it."

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You are in love with me,
I shall make you perplexed.
Do not build much,
for I intend to have you in ruins.
If you build two hundred houses
in a manner that the bees do;
I shall make you as homeless
as a fly.
If you are the mount Qaf in stability.
I shall make you whirl like a millstone.
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If you are irritated by every rub,

how will your mirror be polished?
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How could you reach the pearl
by only looking at the sea?
If you seek the pearl,
be a diver:
the diver needs several qualities:
he must trust his rope and
his life to the Friend's hand,
he must stop breathing,
and he must jump.
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The soul which cannot endure fire
and smoke
won't find the Secret.
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"This is love:
to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet."

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RUMI

Illusions

Don’t be
Dismayed at good- byes.
A farewell is necessary before
You can meet
Again
And meeting
Again, after moments or
Lifetimes, is certain for
those who are
friends

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You are
Never given a wish
without also being given the
Power to make it true.
You may
Have to work for it,
However

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The bond
That links your true family
Is not one of blood, but
Of respect and joy in
Each other’s life.
Rarely do members
Of one family grow up
Under the same
Roof

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You
Teach best
What you most need
To learn

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Live
Never to be
Ashamed of anything you do
Or say is published
Around the world-
Even if
What is published
Is not true

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Your friends
Will know you better
In the first minute you meet
Than
Your acquaintances
Will know you in
A thousand
Years

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Your only
Obligation, in any lifetime
Is to be true to yourself.
Being true to anyone else or
Anything else is impossible.

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(Richard Bach)

एक और

तुम गुनगुनी सी , तुम गीली गीली;

तुम सुर्ख लाल क्यों पीली- पीली;

तुम सहज धूप, तुम बहुत खूब;

तुम हो गुलाब, तुम सुप्रभात.
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इसका जवाब..

मैं ठिठुरी ठिठुरी , मैं सूखी सूखी;

मैं थी गुलाल, अब उखरी उखरी;

मैं दिन न रात, मैं यूँ ही बिन बात;

मैं न गुलाब, न सुप्रभात.

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rajeev jha

nice one

One day you'll ask me:

"which is more important, my life or yours?"

I'll say "mine" and

you'll walk away,

not knowing that

"you are my life".

-khalil gibran

wise words from a wise man

The society is made by a man

but made prosperous by a woman.

(interview excerpt)

-Dr.Devi Shetty.

from the back glass of a car

Everything is fair in love and war;

but I suggest you wage a war

and not fall in love;

because in war you either win or die;

but in love you neither win nor die.

;)

nice english song

Nothing can hold me down,

when you are around;

I can't believe what I have found.

Nothing can bring me down,

when you are around.

kuchh aur...

न मैं तलाश करुँ तुम में, जो नहीं हो तुम;

न तुम तलाश करो मुझ में, जो नहीं हूँ मैं.

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यहाँ कोई किसी को रास्ता नहीं देता;

मुझे गिरा के अगर तुम संभल सको

तो चलो;

किसी के वास्ते राहें कहाँ बदलतीं हैं,

तुम अपने आप को खुद ही बदल सको

तो चलो.

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मुझ जैसा एक आदमी, मेरा ही हमनाम,

उल्टा सीधा वो चले, मुझे करे बदनाम.

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-Nida Faazli

madhubala

इस नीले अंचल की छाया में,
जग-ज्वाला का झुलसाया;
आ कर शीतल करता काया,
मधु- मरहम का मैं लेपन कर,
अच्छा करती उर का छाला,
मैं मधुशाला की मधुबाला.

-बच्चन

मधुशाला के मेरे कुछ चुनिन्दा पंक्तियाँ..

जो हाला मैं चाह रहा था,वह न मिली मुझको हाला,

जो प्याला मैं मांग रहा था, वो न मिला मुझको प्याला,

जिस साकी के पीछे मैं था दीवाना, न मिला साकी,

जिसके पीछे था मैं पागल, हा! न मिली वह मधुशाला.

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बने पुजारी प्रेमी साकी,गंगाजल पावन हाला;

रहे फेरता अविरत गति से, मधु के प्यालों की माला;

" और लिए जा, और पीये जा" इसी मंत्र का जाप करे,

मैं शिव की प्रतिमा बन बैठूं, मंदिर हो यह मधुशाला.

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मुसलमान और हिन्दू हैं दो, एक, मगर उनका प्याला;

एक, मगर उनका मदिरालय, एक, मगर उनकी हाला;

दोनों रहते एक न जब तक मंदिर मस्जिद में जाते;

बैर बढ़ते मंदिर मस्जिद, मेल कराती मधुशाला.

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बजी नफ़िरि और नमाज़ि भूल गया अल्लाहताला;

गाज गिरी, पर, ध्यान सुरा में मग्न रहा पीनेवाला;

शेख बुरा मत मानो इसको; साफ़ कहूँ तो मस्जिद को,

अभी युगों तक सिखलाएगी, ध्यान लगा मधुशाला.

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सजे न मस्जिद और नमाज़ि कहता है अल्लाहताला;

सज धज कर, पर, साकी आता, बन ठन कर पीने वाला,

शेख कहाँ तुलना हो सकती, मस्जिद की मदिरालय से,

चिर विधवा है मस्जिद तेरी, सदा सुहागन मधुशाला.

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-बच्चन

cloning madhushala

मय की चाहत में देखो पल पल पीड़ित है प्याला,

शुष्क परा था,सहम गया है, अश्क किसी ने क्यों डाला,

टूट न पाए, बिखड़ न जाये,

कोई पहुँचा दो इसे मधुशाला.

शब् भर पीता रहता हूँ, भर भर कर गम की हाला,

दर्द के दफ्तर में दिन भर, जपता हूँ सुख की माला,

खुमार खलिश की ज्यों की त्यों है,

जीवन हो गई मधुशाला.

धड़कन में तेरी ही धुन है, स्पंदन में तेरा ही सुर है,

तड़पन में तेरी ही लय है, स्मरण तेरा कोई मय है,

सानिध्य तेरा प्याला हाला का,

मैं मतवाला, तू मधुशाला.

हाथों को मैं छत कर दूँ, छत से तेरी छाती ढँक लूँ,

मन से पी लूँ खुश्बू तन की, मन ही मन मैं मदमस्त रहूँ,

कभी आँच न आये प्रणय आँच पर,

यूँ ही कायम रहे मधुशाला.

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rajeev jha

मेरे पसंद के कुछ फिल्मी डायलोग्स

जो लोग किसी भी कीमत पर जीतना चाहते हैं,

वो अक्सर जीत कर भी हार जाते हैं.

रानी मुख़र्जी -मेहँदी.

डर गए थे?

नहीं मर गया था.

रानी मुख़र्जी और विवेक ओबेरॉय- साथिया.

अगर तुम मेरा दिल तोड़ दोगे तो मैं ऐसे टूट जाउंगी,

जैसे मौत से टकरा के ज़िन्दगी टूट जाती है.

विद्या बालन टू अक्षय कुमार- हे बेबी.

जब बात आत्मा की शान्ति की हो,

तो नफा - नुक्सान नहीं देखा जाता.

पंकज कपूर- ब्लू अम्ब्रेल्ला.

इतनी शिद्दत से मैंने तुम्हें पाने की कोशिश की है,

की हर ज़र्रे ने मुझे तुमसे मिलाने की साज़ीश की है.

शाहरुख खान- ॐ शांति ॐ.

Can I please have one last first kiss

50 first Dates

Khayal rakhna bahut zaruri hai Mr. Awasthi

Amir-Taare Zameen Par

Aapko to thek se jhooth bhi nahin bolna aata

Hema-Baghban

When you want to spend the rest of your life with someone

you want the rest of the life to begin soon

Meg Ryan-When Harry Met Sally

I badly wanted it to be you

Meg Ryan-You've Got Mail

history of the suicide song

O V E R T U R E T O D E A T H
D. P. MacDonald

In February of 1936, Budapest Police were investigating the suicide of a local shoemaker, Joseph Keller. The investigation showed that Keller had left a suicide note in which he quoted the lyrics of a recent popular song. The song was "Gloomy Sunday".

The fact that a man chose to quote the lyrics of a little-known song may not seem very strange. However, the fact that over the years, this song has been directly associated with the deaths of over 100 people is quite strange indeed.

Following the event described above, seventeen additional people took their own lives. In each case, "Gloomy Sunday" was closely connected with the circumstances surrounding the suicide.

Among those included are two people who shot themselves while listening to a gypsy band playing the tune. Several others drowned themselves in the Danube while clutching the sheet music of "Gloomy Sunday".

One gentleman reportedly walked out of a nightclub and blew his brains out after having requested the band to play "The Suicide Song".

The adverse effect of "Gloomy Sunday" was becoming so great that the Budapest Police thought it best to ban the song. However, the suppression of "Gloomy Sunday" was not restricted to Budapest, nor was its seemingly evil effects.

In Berlin, a young shopkeeper hung herself. Beneath her feet lay a copy of "Gloomy Sunday".

In New York, a pretty typist gassed herself leaving a request that "Gloomy Sunday" should be played at her funeral.

Many claim that broken romances are the true causes of these suicides. However, this is debatable. For instance, one man jumped to his death from a seventh story window followed by the wailing strains of "Gloomy Sunday". He was over 80 years old!

In contrast to this, a 14 year old girl drowned herself while clutching a copy of "The Suicide Song".

Perhaps the strongest of all was the case of an errand boy in Rome, who, having heard a beggar humming the tune, parked his cycle, walked over to the beggar, gave him all his money, and then sought his death in the waters beneath a nearby bridge.

As the death toll climbed, the B.B.C. felt it necesssary to suppress the song, and the U.S. network quickly followed suit. A French station even brought in psychic experts to study the effects of "Gloomy Sunday" but had no effect on the ever climbing death rate.

The composer, Rezső Seress, who in 1933 wrote "Gloomy Sunday", was as bewildered as the rest of the world. Although he wrote the song on the breakup of his own romance, he never dreamed of the results which would follow. However, as fate would have it, not even Seress could escape the song's strange effects.

At first he had a difficult time getting someone to publish the song. Quite frankly, no one would have anything to do with it. As one publisher stated, "It is not that the song is sad, there is a sort of terrible compelling despair about it. I don't think it would do anyone any good to hear a song like that."

However, time passed and Seress finally got his song published. Within the week "Gloomy Sunday" became a best seller, Seress contacted his ex-lover and made plans for a reunion. The next day the girl took her life through the use of poison. By her side was a piece of paper containing two words: "Gloomy Sunday".

When questioned as to just what he had in mind when he wrote the song, Seress replied, "I stand in the midst of this deadly success as an accused man. This fatal fame hurts me. I cried all of the disappointments of my heart into this song, and it seems that others with feelings like mine have found their own hurt in it."

As the months went by and the excitement died down, the B.B.C. agreed to release "Gloomy Sunday", but only as an instrumental. This version was later made into a record. A London policemen heard this particular arrangement being repeatedly and endlessly played in a nearby apartment. He considered this to be worthy of investigation.

Upon entering the apartment, he found an automatic phonograph playing and replaying the tune. Next to it was a woman, dead from an overdose of barbiturates. It was this incident which prompted the B.B.C. to reimpose its ban on the song. To this day it has not been lifted.

As a final note, "Gloomy Sunday" was introduced to the U.S. market in 1936. However, getting it recorded was no easy matter. Bob Allen and members of the Hal Kemp band were the first to record "Gloomy Sunday" in the U.S. They were noticeably affected while making the record.

It took twenty-one takes to turn out a record good enough to publish. Few people who have ever listened to the melody and lyrics fail to confess that it has a horribly depressing effect.
Finally, it is not surprising to note that Rezső Seress, the composer of "Gloomy Sunday", committed suicide in 1968.

History of the suicide song

P E S S I M I S M A N D D E P R E S S I O N H A V E D E E P R O O T S I N A C O U N T R Y W H E R E S U I C I D E I S W I D E L Y R E G A R D E D A S A S O L U T I O N
Krisztina Fenyo

The tune is strangely gripping, and the lyrics capture an odd longing for death. The sad and monotonous song easily entices one into feeling depressed. It's Gloomy Sunday - the Hungarian "suicide anthem".

"Little white flowers won't wait for you, not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you. Angels have no thought of ever returning you. Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?"

A pianist today still sometimes plays Gloomy Sunday in the old popular Kis Pipa restaurant, the same place where the song's composer, Rezső Seress, used to play it in the early 1930s. Gloomy Sunday became world famous as it was sung by Billie Holiday, Louis Armstrong, and had versions in Swedish, Chinese, Japanese and even Esperanto.

When the song appeared it soon came to be known as the "suicide anthem" because its impact was so lethal that many people were said to commit suicide to it and leave the lyrics with their farewell letters. Later the composer himself also took his own life by jumping out of a window.
Hungarians have long had a reputation as being the gloomiest nation in Europe.

They are renowned for their pessimism, depression is a nationwide problem, and until recently they had the highest suicide rate in the world, according to the World Health Organisation. Recent surveys also show that they die earlier than most European peoples.

Gloom, depression and suicide seem to be part and parcel of Hungarian culture. "You can hardly meet with a Hungarian who wouldn't have relatives or friends who really committed suicide - it's a kind of national disease, it's a kind of sickness," says Peter Muller, a Hungarian playwright who has written a play about Gloomy Sunday and has studied the suicide phenomenon.

Suicide as a solution
In some areas in the countryside suicide is so general that no family remains unaffected. In recent years a number of small and isolated settlements in southern Hungary came to be known as 'suicide villages' as their rate is even higher than the average national figures.

Until last year there were 4,500 recorded suicides a year in Hungary, which, was the highest per population figure in the world. Not only many people kill themselves in Hungary but they also often choose brutal methods: they jump down wells, hang themselves, or drink pesticides.

Psychiatrist Dr Bela Buda says one problem is that Hungarians regard suicide in a very different way to people in other countries. "In the unconscious popular mind suicide is a positive pattern of problem solution, it's a formula which is actualised in times of crisis because everybody has experiences with other persons who committed suicide and who were regarded not as failures but as brave people daring to restore their self-esteem and dignity by this desperate and heroic act."

The sadness and gloom has a long tradition in the country's history. Many famous historical figures, from the middle ages to modern times, ended their life with suicide. The politician revered as 'The Greatest Hungarian', Istvan Szechényi killed himself, as did a wartime prime minister, Pal Teleki, as did the poet Attila Jozsef, and as did the actor Zoltan Latinovits at the very same train station where the poet threw himself in front of a train.

They were all outstanding talents and characters, but their suicides became part of what suicidologist call 'the heroisation of death'. Still today there are instances almost every year, Buda explains, of young people trying to commit suicide at the same train station where the poet and the actor had killed themselves.

According to Buda, the many historical models and their copying shows that Hungarian culture is "favouring defective, maladaptative patterns of solution for life problems". Others who have direct experience with people "in crisis" agree that suicide does seem to many Hungarians as a form of solution. A volunteer worker at an anonymous helpline phone service - where many calls are suicide related - has anwered callers for seven years.

He also feels that suicide is an accepted form to solve problems. "Somehow it is in our culture that there is way to solve a problem easily, to quit in this way," he explains, "sometimes people want to punish somebody with whom they have a difficult relationship."

Alarming mental health problems
The high rate of suicide, however, is just one symptom of the Hungarians' dire mental health, psychiatrists say. About twenty-five percent of the population suffer of anxiety illnesses, and a very large part of it coupled with depression. There is a growing number of mental disorders and the rate of alcoholism and smoking is also alarmingly high, experts say.

Hungary now leads world statistics in liver sclerosis, 8500 cases a year, an illness directly linked to alcoholism, Dr Buda says. In 1995 there were 8500 cases of liver sclerosis death, in the previous year there were 7300.

This was far the highest rate in any country in the world, according to Buda. "This dramatic elevation shows that in the last years there must have been a continuous heavy drinking in many hundreds of thousands people in Hungary".

In fact, many experts agree that behind the recent drop in suicide figures there is a growing rate of mental disorders and the growth of alcoholism. Buda says that "suicidality" itself has not decreased but merely manifests itself in alcoholism which leads to earlier death. In other words, many potential suicidal victims die before reaching the suicide age.

Life expectancy is now one of the lowest in Europe in Hungary, with the population decreasing by thirty to forty thousand every year, experts say. If this trend continues Hungary's population will fall below ten million by the next century.

Reasons and theories
Dr Buda says one reason for Hungary's disturbing mental health is the enormous social changes of the last decades, with which broke up old supporting kinship and family ties. Since the 1950s almost 60 percent of the population changed residence and social status during the process of accelerated industrialisation, Buda says. "This huge horizontal and vertical mobility meant that a lot of people became isolated, alienated, as kinship systems, family ties were destroyed," he says.
Similar changes also took place in other central and eastern European countries but in countries like Romania and the Slavic countries, the kinship and family ties remained stronger, Buda explains "What is important is that in Hungary the degree of individualisation is very high, almost as high as in the Western countries."

Indeed, Hungarians often say that they are caught in between two worlds, East and West, and feel that they are 'too western' for their geographical location. Hungary has often been compared by many writers to a ferry boat - moving between East and West, longing to anchor at the Western shore but always pushed back to the East.

"This intermediary situation is really characteristic - our short trips to the Western shores imbued as with values and aspirations, but we had to go back to our Eastern realities and if you taste something then you might begin to miss it," Buda echoes the theory.

But the Gloomy Sunday playwright Peter Muller thinks that there is more to the Hungarian gloom that just frustrated aspirations. The real reasons go much deeper, he says. It is essentially a problem of identity. "Somehow the root is missing. We live in a very strange position of the world. We always try to stick to the Western culture, we try to escape from the Eastern mentality and somehow we are in a limbo, we don't belong to anybody, it's a kind of loneliness. We have somehow lost our Oriental roots without finding another one - and if you are in trouble, if your life is difficult it is the root that can save you."

Many Hungarians, however, will insist that they are not really gloomy, let alone pessimistic. The fact that they complain readily and frequently, Dr Buda says, is merely a mechanism by which they cope with problems or try to elicit help.

And many Hungarians will also emphasise that they really are a merry people, and they point to their many humorists, cabaret figures, and their passionately merry gypsy music. Peter Muller explains this by saying that the Hungarians have an essentially antagonistic spirit, a 'double feeling' in their mentality. Beside their gloom, there is always a determinism to survive, a "but" factor, in Muller's words.

"There is always a great 'but', and this 'but' is a very Hungarian word. 'But' we have to do it, 'but' we have to survive ..... It is in the melodies, it is in the music of the great Hungarian composers - you can find a lot of 'but's in Liszt's work, in Bartok's work - they are full of such 'but's. It's a very strange and special strength beside the sadness."

History of the Suicide Song-Gloomy sunday

G L O O M Y S U N D A Y
(t h e s u i c i d e s o n g)
Gloomy Sunday - the notorious 'Hungarian Suicide Song' - was written in 1933. Its melody and original lyrics were the creation of Rezső Seress, a self-taught pianist and composer born in Hungary in 1899.

The crushing hopelessness and bitter despair which characterised the two stanza penned by Seress were superseded by the more mournful,
melancholic verses of Hungarian poet László Jávor.

When the song came to public attention it quickly earned its reputation as a 'suicide song'.

Reports from Hungary alleged individuals had taken their lives after listening to the haunting melody, or that the lyrics had been left with their last letters.

The lyricists Sam M. Lewis and Desmond Carter each penned an English translation of the song. It was Lewis's version, first recorded by Hal Kemp and his Orchestra, with Bob Allen on vocals (1936) that was to become the most widely covered.

The popularity of Gloomy Sunday increased greatly through its interpretation by Billie Holiday (1941). In an attempt to alleviate the pessemistic tone a third stanza was added to this version, giving the song a dreamy twist, yet still the suicide reputation remained. Gloomy Sunday was banned from the playlists of major radio broadcasters around the world. The B.B.C. deemed it too depressing for the airwaves.

Despite all such bans, Gloomy Sunday continued to be recorded and sold.
People continued to buy the recordings; some committed suicide.
Rezső Seress jumped to his death from his flat in 1968.

Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless

Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless

Little white flowers will never awaken you

Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you

Angels have no thoughts of ever returning you

Wouldn't they be angry if I thought of joining you?

Gloomy is Sunday, with shadows I spend it all

My heart and I have decided to end it all

Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are said I know

But let them not weep, let them know that I'm glad to go

Death is no dream, for in death I'm caressin' you

With the last breath of my soul, I'll be blessin' you

Dreaming, I was only dreaming

I wake and I find you asleep in the deep of my heart here

Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you

My heart is tellin' you how much I wanted you

-Rezső Seress

We too need a leader like this

Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT.

Take It Or Leave It.

I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture.

Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, 'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.

''If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here.

So accept the country YOU accepted.

-Prime Minister John Howard - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks. Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques.

' Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, Indian citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.

Disclaimer:

I am not against any religion per se.

All I wanna say is that we must follow the saying

"jeeyo aur jeene do"

Friends and countrymen of all religion are equally dear to me.

Appreciate her

because you might just marry a working woman...

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements;

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day 1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities; Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply Because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinting support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this.......

So now that you know all this learn to appreciate "HER"

For girls to make their day and for guys who can handle it

Quote of the day

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and improves what is given to her.

So... if you give her any little crap, be prepared to receive a ton of shit.